1 more to go....

The Monkeys went in the firm favorites last night, and did not disappoint. A 24 point victory is nothing to be laughed at - however I think all the team felt that we didn't have our best game on. Some sloppy work in the midfield (and I am clearly to blame here as I was running centre) meant that we didn't make our target of 40. However, a great game was played. Prenda's rip off pants came in useful, as he swiftly tore those puppies off and step onto court. Thomo made a fashionably late entrance, then went on to claim the title of Mr versatility. Kat and Charlie were on fire as per usual - even up against an old school ogg monsters in defense. Carli new chick played a great keeper yet again, before handing over the role to Jane who proved that her patented hip and shoulder move can be used in any position. Jonseey was again all over the court getting the intercepts and smacking the girls.

Although the upset of the night came when Robyn the ump came over after the game. She was looking straight at me, walking over with the BOG in her hand. Its mine, I thought to myself. After all this time, scabbed knees, hanging off the net, punching the males I've finally been noticed. She looks over to Jane. No, me, me I am silently screaming. She's looking at me again......And then she turns around and gives it to Charlie. And states "I just love your layups". Charlie Glory Hog who has had more free drinks in the club lounge than I've had intercepts.... I obviously had a crap game and that's enough said about that.

Slytherin were beaten again last night, by a team that hasn't won a game in 2 years. I also found out last night that deacons has not only one, but two teams. Slytherin and Gryffindor. Although clearly they should start a team called Hufflepuff (or change it to Huff 'n' Puff) because that's all Banner does on the court. And at home after the game.

Now to the serious stuff. There is a boy we all know, called Jonseey. He is suffering with a terrible disease. (well probably more than one but I can't work miracles here). The disease is nosnowditis. The only cure is to go to a treatment centre in New Zealand for a week. If you would like to donate and help send Jonseey to NZ please contact www.savejonseey.com.au. And remember, give that Jonseey may grow. (well its probably too late for that, but give anyway).

What has happened to me??

Do you ever have one of those weeks where everything seems to go wrong? And you wonder to yourself - "is this all there is"? Welcome to my life. This week has been absolutely crazy, as you can probably tell by my lack of blogging. Lolly Pop has been sitting here all lonely, like a fungus five member on a Saturday night. So in an attemp to make up for the lack of blogs I am going to go back and recreate my week for you.....starting at saturday nights party......

Sat night...... sick in bed, not going to the party. JL calls and informs me that charlie is actually quite worried about his leg. Feel guilty for not giving any sympathy (even tho the night before he chose to go see star wars instead of come and comfort me when sick. i digress). Go to party. See outragous antics of Skid Mark (think blowing chunks in the laundry trough, while dressed like Amanda off Melrose Place) while fat chick in short floral skirt (why is it always the plus size girl in the ra-ra skirt?) holds her head. Snub rubber-neck from banners work. Get confronted by Simone about her abrupt dismissal from netball team. Give prenda some shit. See Katie dancing with Mexican dude. Give Jonseey some shit. See Katie pash Hamish out on the street. Bag Skid Mark with Thomo. Grease off Love Boat Captain - aka Nanks. Check Charlie is ok. Leave party.

Sunday .... played LAX. We lost. I played well - poeple impressed.

Monday.... Work going crazy. Win netball - hang off nets. hit very little people. play centre - happy bout that. may put up future challenge. Hear about Slytherins loss - doubly happy.

Tuesday... work is super busy. leave early to go to training. walking to train when i realise that i left my house key sitting on the kitchen table. call charlie to get his. call banner to get his. meet banner - get key. get on train - train in front breaks down in tunnel. stuck in tunnel for 20 minutes. get home - training already started.

Wednesday... get to work at 7am to finish stuff not done yesterday cos of early cut out for training.

Thursday...sick of work. decide to write on blog instead. Steal free lunch from meeting room before meeting starts. Day is looking up already.

To all the blog addicts....

Poor little blog. It has not been getting much attention of late. First I was sick on Friday so no blog. Then this week work has had the audacity to inundate me with crap I should actually be doing, and thus again no blog. Which is clearly a shame as the antics of certain individuals at the party on Saturday night clearly needed to be publicly critisied on this blog. I speak here of Skid Mark, Floral Skirt and the Love Boat Captain. For those who would like further explanation - I will try to write the details when I get time. Or go talk to Banner - he's the one who is actually friends with those people. As a slight teaser - Skid Mark ended the night with a plastic bag tied around her neck so she could throw up into it.......

So onto the more important stuff - like netball. The Monkeys went in the underdogs last night. Glory hog, I mean star GA Charlie was out with an injury and there were some doubts that the Monkeys had the stuff to get over the line. And it was a hard fought match, but in the end the Monkeys netballed their way to victory and got one step closer to that grand final spot.

Jonseey still had problems with the elusive centre circle, but perhaps saved the game for the Monkeys with some brilliant intercepts in the last 2 quarters. Thomo and Kat faced some tough defense in goals, but came through like champions. Carli new chick showed that she can play a mean Keeper, while Prenda in his short shorts keep up a solid defense. I tried to do a Spider Man effort clinging to the nets, then literally rode the opposite centres back like a Monkey. However this wasn't enough to earn me BOG - that award when to Jane. Literally because she carried another player on her back most of the game. Funniest part of the game was when Jane turned to her opposing player and stated "What are you doing?". The Monkeys are in good stead for a grand final berth, bring on THUD.

On a lighter note - Slitheryn played in the rain last night. And lost. They are loosers. Banna was BOG.

Cluedo

Day 3 - no response from Prenda. Perhaps it was not the smartest move to bag a budding litigator on my website. Hmm.

My little brother has been inspired by the water saving ads, and now refuses to pee in the toilet. Instead he pees in the backyard behind a tree. I am unsure if this is the consumer response the Bracks government was hoping for.

I am currently sitting in my office wearing both a jacket and scarf. My strategy now is to catch pneumonia due to the air conditioning, then sue my work for negligence. This morning when I got into work there was only 1 email waiting for me, and it was a crap one about midgets being eaten by a lion that I got from Thomo like days ago. This is the problem with being at work until 7 the night before - there will be nothing good waiting for your the next day. The other problem being that you have no life. However when you spend 9 to 5 blogging the work builds up.

There is a lot of pressure on this blog at the moment. Although it is only known by a selective few, it has stirred many a pot of shit. I am terrified that Shaz will find out that it exists and we will all be forced to deal with his ADD online as well as in person. I believe Saturday night will be quite the party - I fully expect JL to walk around accusing people of being anonymous. Like Cluedo - "it was you on Wednesday with the wing defense comment".

Blah Blah Blah

Well it seems as though yesterdays blog stirred up a bit of controversy. Homosexual tendencies from both Banner and Charlie (I find the later quite disturbing). Accusations of misleading netball fixtures. G-strings in a twist. I was a little disappointed that nobody came to the defense of my netball captaincy - is it possible that I am not a popular as I think I am?

Top 5 things that have pissed me off today.
1. A fat guy bumped into me trying to get past in the coffee line this morning. If you are fat you should accept the fact you must wait until a reasonable space is clear before you move. Skinny people do not want to be bumped by your stomach.

2. I ate a chocolate jam donut like a fat pig and now have eaters remorse. I am a jenny-bag-o-donuts.

3. My brother is home sick and I had to go to work. And when I got into work this morning there were only work related emails waiting for me.

4. My office is far too cold. My complaints and whingeing about the air conditioning has fallen on deaf ears.

5. The mainstream media has not cottoned on to the fact that Shapelle Corby has lost no weight, and are giving this startling revelation no press coverage.

Hey Hey we're the Monkeys

I promised a harsher netball review this week due to the lack of posts about last weeks wrap up. But how do you complain about a 19 point win? Instead I will take the time to bag the off court antics of the team. New chick Carli put in a good effort to play last night - having gone home sick from work during the day but still putting in the effort for the netball team. Rumor has it that a previous wing defense, lets call her G, is hoping to make a come back for a memorial game. A challenge may be on - watch out on Sat night for the netball showdown. Prenda rocked up in the craziest skin tight rip off pants ever. I wasn't even aware that rip offs were made that tight - or that they have now been deemed socially acceptable wear. And while I am on the subject of Prenda - he came out with the big statement that he may be leaving the Monkeys to join another team. The Deakins team. However my sources tell me that the Deakins team lost their second game in a row last night, and to put it nicely are pretty much crap. They are all short, and no one can shoot - Banna was the best for the team (note this is not a bag of banna as he played really well when he filled in for the monkeys. If you do want to see a bag of banner please check out my other posts). I say Prenda, even tho I f*ing created you and you didn't even know about netball until I taught you, please feel free to join this Deakins team. Which by the way is called Slytherin (indicating that they are not only crap netballers but also geeks). You will come running back to the Monkeys after weeks of defeat - remember winners are grinners.

And a special shout out must go to Jonseey - an hour and half after the game started Jonseey saunters into the stadium. Just in time to join us for post match drinks in the attic they euphemistically call the "Club Lounge". Luckily for Jonseey the Monkeys had already pulled together for a win - the responsibility for a loss would have fallen squarely on his head, and would have been accompanied by numerous slanderous blogs and comments.

shappelle corby

Like hundreds of thousands of other Aussies I now feel it is time to wade into the Shappelle debate. I do feel sorry for the girl - I spent 1 night in the dodgy hostel in Ko San Rd with like a pit for a toilet. I am sure that a Bali jail would be worse than that. However, I put this question to you, my avid reader (possibly only JL) - why has Shappelle not lost any weight? The trial was held up for about 2 weeks cos she was sick with diarrhea and vomiting. If I chuck for a couple of days I will loose like 5 kilos. Now how can she be that sick for that long and still be the same weight? I don't know what this has to do with her guilt or innocence - that is for the court to work out. However, this lack of weight loss prompts me to believe that she possibly is a big fat liar.

Banna's cake

Last night Banna made a cake. He wouldn't let me have a piece. He will now feel my wrath.

Today

nothing of note has happened to me today. I did have a bad experience at lunch when I knew I should have a sandwich, but really felt like hot food instead. So I fell for the 6.90 large fried rice and 3 mains special. Big mistake - it was totally gross. I ate the honey chicken and nothing else. Beware of the food special....

Netbrawlers

Another great game of netball last night from the Monkeys. Or should I say the Charlie and Kat show? While Ali and Prenda were doing the hard work in the trenches down in defense, the goal shooters were hamming it up Harlem Globe Trotter style. Jonseey was on fire with his intercepts last night, however the elusive step into the centre still sees the little guy dancing around the outside before he jumps in. With Thomo putting in a great game and having a turn in each 3rd, he is clearly front runner for the most versatile player award (note: award consists of 3 highlighters, 2 sticky pads - yellow variety, and a stapler). Jane came out with her trademark hip and shoulder move against her male opponent to play an agressive wing attack. A special thanks must go out to new chick Carli - playing some of the best wing defense we have seen this season. Plus she hasn't cried, worn a push up bra to netball, or bent over and made me look at her g-string.

The Monkeys are in a strong position leading into the run up to the finals. Sitting second on the ladder (a good achievment after a mid season slump), we have some big games coming up to ensure we take this comp. And beat THUD. Cos I freakin' hate them. That fat GS pig. I am gonna slap him so hard next time.....

But remember, its all about having fun......And beating THUD.

Still on the bus...

Tonight there were road works on the way home, which meant I was stuck on the bus for an hour and a half. Unfortunately I had chosen a seat next to a fat man, who took up 3/4 of the seat. I was thus forced to sit on 1/4 of the seat and still had his big meaty arm pressed up against me. I think that fat people should be made to buy two tickets like they are on aeroplanes.

I ride the special bus...

This morning I had allergic reaction to the man I sat next to on the bus. I could not stop sneezing, and then he has the audacity to look at me as if I was interuping his bus journy. I will add him to the list of poeple I hate that catch my bus. He is close to the top of the list too, right behind booffy-head old lady and fat arse chick.

Thursday 5th May 4.51 PM

only 9 mins and I can leave...... only 9 mins and I can leave....

Training tonight. Don't want to go if it is raining. Quite like the wicked witch of the west I may melt.

Today at work I did nothing, repeat nothing. Another 9 hours of admin clocked up on the timesheets. A definite decline since yesterday when I posted 3 letters.